


What's Wrong With Vulnerability?

by AlphaLoba99



Series: TommyInnit Angst [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Claustrophobia, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff, Hugs, Panic Attacks, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27572515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaLoba99/pseuds/AlphaLoba99
Summary: Tommy always loves to say that he is a man. He hasn't hugged anyone in years. He hasn't been hugged by anyone in years. He hasn't told someone he loves them in years. He hasn't had anyone tell them they love him in years. He hasn't cried in years. Because he was a man. And Tommy's father always says, that a man is not vulnerable. When Tommy was younger, he learned his lesson the hard way, and has been since.But when he goes out with his friends one day, Phil finds it odd that his father shows no compassion to his own son, and asks a question that results in an answer none of them were expecting.And Tommy struggles to understand why vulnerability is a bad thing, but that's what he was raised believing. If it's not true then... His life has been a lie. And he's not sure if he is ready to believe that.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit & Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: TommyInnit Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016982
Comments: 100
Kudos: 890





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Everything is Platonic, as usual. This was just something I thought of randomly. If you guys enjoy, (which I hope you do) I might make multiple parts! Let me know in the comments if you want me to continue this, or leave it as a One-Shot.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Tommy is seven years old. He runs down the stairs, a childish grin spreading acrossed his face. He collides with his mother, and laughs happily as she catches him. She smiles down at him, and laughs as well. Setting her purse down on the dining room table, before crouching down in front of Tommy. She ruffles his hair, and pulls him into a hug, kissing his forehead gently. Tommy makes an exaggerated sound of disgust, still smiling as his mother let's go._

_"Okay Tommy. I have to go to work now, okay?" She had announced gently, and Tommy nodded vigorously. He clutched to her leg for a moment, before letting go, and waving his arms around in the air._

_"Okay! Bye mummy! Cya when you get home!" His voice was energetic. The woman smiles down sadly at him, before grabbing her purse and heading to the door. She exits the house, after looking back at Tommy with that sad look again. Tommy didn't notice it, as he continued to run around the dining room._

_After a while, Tommy's father entered the kitchen, where Tommy had sat down to catch his breath. Once Tommy spots his father, he leaps to his feet again. "Daddy!" He squeaks happily, and launches himself at his father, wrapping his arms around his legs. But the man didn't hug back. Tommy looked up, confused, to see his father's face was unreadable._

_"Dad?" Tommy backs away slightly. He didn't know why, but his father seemed almost... Scary. And Tommy's gut feeling to be scared was correct, when his father stepped forward and grabbed the boy by his shoulders, roughly. Tommy yelps, more in surprise then pain, as his father carries him over to a cabinet, and opens it. He uses one of his feet to kick everything out of it, still holding Tommy in the air. Tommy was crying now, and this just seemed to make his father angrier._

_Once the cabinet was emptied, Tommy's father nearly threw Tommy into it, slamming the doors shut. Tommy's world was blanketed in black, as he hears shuffling outside of the cramped space._

_"Dad, please let me out! I'm sorry for whatever I did! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Tommy tries to kick open the doors, but they don't budge. Had his father locked him in? No no no no no no!_

_"As soon as you stop crying, I'll start a timer. You will be in there for two hours, once you've stopped crying." His voice was steady, and not angry. Tommy sobs again. "Do you know why you are in there, Tommy?" Tommy whimpers in response. "Because. You are a man. You have to be tough. That means you can't hug anyone. You can't cry. Those are signs of vulnerability, Tommy. And men can't be vulnerable. It's about time you start learning that." That was all the man had to say, as Tommy heard him walk away._

_The child had cried, and tried so hard to get out of the dark space, his chest hurting from how fast he was breathing. His endless sobbing didn't help either. It didn't stop until he heard his mother enter the house. Had he really been crying for that long? He let loose a loud, gut wrenching sob. The sound of his mother's footsteps grew more frantic, as she searched for her child. Once she found him, she pulled him out of the cabinet, and holds him to her chest._

_Tommy is so happy to be out of the dark space, and clings to his mother, still sobbing. She gently rocked him, humming in his ear. She shuffles her fingers through his hair, until Tommy begins to calm down. Tommy expected that to be the end of that. Of course, it wasn't._

_Tommy's father did not change his beliefs. And Tommy's experiences just grew worse and worse over the years, until Tommy began to understand that his father was just trying to teach him life lessons, and Tommy started to actually listens after the first few years. And, as promised, the less vulnerable he was, the less he got hurt. The less he had to be in the dark space._

_His father was right, Vulnerability was bad._

_~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~_

Tonmy was excited. He was gonna see his friends today! He was going to meet them face to face, for the first time ever! Wilbur, Phil, Techno- even Tubbo! Tommy was practically bouncing with anticipation as his father got ready. Tommy had already prepared the day before, to excited to sit still. As soon as his dad was finished, Tommy ran outside, and sprints to the passenger door, opening it, and launching himself inside. 

Tommy's father smiles, and sighs at his antics. He settles into the driver seat, and starts the car. After letting it warm up for a few moments, Tommy's father began to drive. The had all agreed to meet at an arcade, and it was going to be so much fun! Tommy had stuffed his wallet full with a bunch of cash. He wanted to be able to play as long as possible.

The drive took about 15 minutes in total, before they reached the arcade. Tommy about screamed when he saw that they were all already there. The car had barely stopped moving, before Tommy was launching himself out of it, and towards a semi-circle of people he recognized.

"Tubbo! Wilbur! Phil! Techno!!!!" Tommy threw himself onto Tubbo. Tubbo laughed, along with Wilbur. Phil smiles gently, and Techno just crosses his arms, trying to suppress a smile. Tommy straightens as his father walks up. _Thats not counted as a hug, right?_ Tommy looked at his father worriedly. Tommy's father just shook his head, and gave Tommy an easy smile. Tommy shivered slightly, almost unnoticeable. _Almost._ Wilbur rose an eyebrow, but didn't question it.

"Hello. I'm Tommy's father, nice to meet you all." He stuck his hand out to Phil, who immediately shook it.

"Hello! I'm Phil, this is Wilbur," he points to the lanky man, "-Thats Tubbo," he pointed to the other child next to Tommy, "-and thats Techno!" He points to the pink haired, rather short, man. They all gave different forms of greetings, Wilbur with a hello, Tubbo with a wave, and Techno with a nod.

"Alright. Well, I have to go now, I'll pick you up at seven?" He turned to Tommy, who nods enthusiastically. "Alright. Cya later then Tommy." He turns and leaves. The exchange seemed a bit awkward to the others. Phil especially, who watches the man leave. Phil's eyebrows furrow, as his mind wanders.

No goodbye hug? Not even a part on the head? Phil was utterly confused. The man hadn't even called Tommy 'son', or anything. Just... _Tommy._ Phil shakes his head free of the thoughts, today was a day for fun. He would not let his crowded thoughts disturb this day! He ushers the boys into the arcade.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It was lunch time, and they all say down at a table after buying some pizza. They all began to eat, but Phil's curiosity got the better of him, as he sets his peice down, and looks over at Tommy.

"Hey, Toms?" He starts, unsure of how to phrase his question. Tommy looks up at him, still eating his pizza. "I just noticed this morning that your father didn't hug you goodbye...?" After saying that out loud, Phil realized how stupid that sounded. Techno and Wilbur had apperently found the question rather stupid sounding as well, as they both started smiling at each other, trying not to laugh. They didn't want to spit out their pizza.

Tubbo raises an eyebrow, and nods, setting his slice of pizza down as well. "Yeah, that's a bit odd to me as well." He states, and looks at Tommy. Wilbur set his lips into a straight line, remembering how Tommy had trembled slightly after making eye contact with his father. But Wilbur keeps that tid-bit of information to himself. At least for now. Tommy sets his slice down, looking at it regretfully, before deciding. _I'll just answer quick so I can eat!_

"Yeah? What about it?" He asks, picking his slice of pizza back up, and taking another bite of it, chewing while Phil tried to form a coherent question.

"Well, uh. I guess I was just wondering why?" Phil settled with, Tubbo nodding in response.

"Oh! Just cuz' it's a sign of vulnerability!" Tommy says cheerfully, as he takes another bite of his pizza. _It was some good fucking pizza._ Tommy was oblivious to their reactions, which were mostly just confusion at that point. 

"Uh... Vulnerability?" Wilbur repeats. Tommy gives him an odd look, only to see that he himself is already getting weird looks from the four people. Tommy nods, and just takes another bite of his pizza happily.

"You mind clarifying on that, gremlin child?" Techno's monotone voice asked, resting his hands on the table. Tommy sighed in irritation as he sets his slice down again.

"Just that that kinda thing is a sign of vulnerability, ya know? It's a sign of weakness?" He tried to explain. He doesn't think he is doing it right it right, since they just seem more lost. Tommy tries to think of how to explain it. Tommy sighs in defeat. "Nevermind, you all don't get it." He picks up his slice of pizza, determined on finishing it before he was interrupted. They seemed to wait for Tommy to finish, which Tommy wasn't sure if he should be thankful for. As soon as he was done, Tubbo was the first to engage.

"So... Showing compassion is vulnerability?" He sounds genuinely confused. Tommy nods, and smiles.

"Yeah, there you go! Your getting it!" Tommy sounded happy that Tubbo was beginning to understand. Wilbur spoke up.

"What's wrong with vulnerability?" He asks, watching Tommy. Phil's eyes seemed glued to Tommy's face, as he tried to figure out what the kid was on about. Tommy shrugs.

"Well, vulnerability gets you hurt! As long as you aren't vulnerable, your safe." Tommy wipes his face with a napkin, repeating his father's words. Those words had been ingrained in his head, from how many times his father has told him that. 

"How- how does vulnerability get you hurt?" Phil asked, growing a bit worried. Tommy was 16. Where the hell had a kid gotten an idea like that? Wilbur and Tubbo looked a bit worried as well. Techno, on the other hand, seemed as though he completely understood the situation. Wether he actually did or not, Phil couldn't tell.

Tommy shrugs once more. "I dunno. It's just what dad tells me. Says, 'men aren't vulnerable, men are strong and independent.'" Tommy tried to mimic his father's voice, bringing a smile to his face, but not to anyone elses. His smile falters, as he looks at them. "What? Did I say something wrong?" Tommy asks.

Wilbur shook his head hurriedly. "No no no, not at all Tommy. We are just... Trying to understand." Tommy settles a bit, before Wilbur starts speaking again. "So. Is being vulnerable, like, not allowed, or something?" Tommy nods, as he drinks from his cup.

"As dad says, 'vulnerability will not be tolerated in my house!'" Tommy tried to make them all smile once more, but it just seems to make them sadder. Tommy begins to feel bad, but he doesn't let it show. Instead, he goes, "Bro, what the hell is wrong with you all, you look like your dog just died!" Tommy smiles crookedly at them. Phil and Tubbo give half hearted smiles back, while Wilbur and Techno didn't even try.

Techno speaks up. "So, if there's a rule against it, then, as per any rule. There is a punishment for it?" Techno's words jarred the other three, as their eyes widened, facing Tommy. They waited for an answer, as Tommy set down his cup.

Tommy arches his right eyebrow. "Yeah? It's pretty normal to have punishments to enforce rules?" Tommy wonders why Techno had phrased it like that. He looks around at the people at his table again. Now, Phil and Wilbur seemed half... Angry. Tubbo still looked sad though. "What's got you guys all riled up, geez!" Tommy shifts, uncomfortable.

"Tommy... What's the punishment for being... 'vulnerable'?" Wilbur sounded disgusted when saying that. Oh, had Tommy disgusted them? Damn. _My bad..._ Tommy looks at his empty cup, waving a waitress over.

"Hi, can I get a refill please?" He asks politely, and she nods, before taking off in the direction of the kitchen. Tommy smiles, before realizing he was asked a question. "Oh! And the punishment is the closet." Tommy responded offhandedly, growing excited when the waitress brought back a glass full of lemonade. Tommy takes it, and thanks the woman, before starting to drink it.

Tommy didn't notice the look his four companions shared, before Tubbo asked the long awaited question. "Tommy? What's, 'the closet'?" His voice was gentle, and Tommy looks at him oddly. Why in the hell were they overreacting about this? It's not that serious. It's just a rule. Tommy sets his lemonade down.

"I just get locked in a closet for a couple hours?" Tommy says, confused when Techno, Wilbur, and Phil grow enraged. Had he said something wrong _again?_ Tommy just picks up his drink and continues to sip on it. _Geez. What's gotten into these guys. It's as if they have never heard of this concept!_ Tommy thinks for a moment. _Maybe they haven't..._

Tubbo seems damn near tears when he starts talking again. "But Tommy! You're claustrophobic! They can't do that!!" He practically wailed. Tommy raises both eyebrows now. Damn, Tubbo sucked at keeping secrets, huh? Tubbo had been the only one to know about that, but now everyone in the building did. Their table received odd looks from other customers. Tommy could swear that the other three were fuming, smoke billowing out of their ears with how pissed they looked.

Tommy shrugs. This wasn't really that big of a thing, they were all overreacting. It was actually quite funny to Tommy, but he does not laugh, for fear that they were mad at him in particular. "Yeah? So? That's why it's an effective punishment!" Tommy smiles at Tubbo, trying to reassure him. Tommy was pretty sure he had done the exact _opposite_ as Tubbo burst into tears. Tommy tensed, staring at his friend, and then looking at the rest of them. Techno noticed his tensing first.

"Don't tell me crying is a sign of vulnerability too...?" Techno sounds exasperated. Tommy just stares at him for a moment, before glancing at Tubbo, who was still crying. Phil huffed angrily, as Wilbur stands, pushing his chair back. 

"Tommy, can you give me a list of things considered vulnerability?" Techno asked, as Phil pulled Tubbo into a hug, rocking him back and forth, waiting for an answer from Tommy. Tommy stares at the two, confusion etched in his face. They don't get in trouble for doing that? Tommy frowns, before realizing that Techno had asked him a question. Tommy finds it hard to tear his gaze away from the two that were so blatantly breaking the rules, to look at Techno.

"Uh... Things like... Hugs?" He says, glancing back at them, still confused. "Uh, crying, yeah..." He stares at Tubbos face for a moment, who stares right back at his. "Um. Saying shit like 'I love you'?" Tommy is scrambling to comprehend what the hell is happening, as Phil grows angrier, Techno tenses, and Wilbur starts pacing. Tubbo tries so hard to stop crying, and is semi-successful at it, as he pulls away from Phil.

Techno opens his mouth to ask something, but Tubbo cut him off, voice filled with despair. "When was the last time someone hugged you?!" Tubbo sounded half way hysterical. Tommy shuffles a bit, growing more uncomfortable with the situation, as Wilbur stops pacing, waiting for an answer. Techno and Phil were waiting as well.

Tommy tried to think back to when he had last hugged someone. That was maybe when he was... Eleven? As a goodbye hug to his mother, who had been leaving. She had promised she would come back for him, but... Tommy did the math, and grins, looking at Tubbo.

"Five years!" Tommy sounds _happy._ And he realized that he had _definitely_ said something wrong this time, as the three who were still sitting wordlessly stood. Tommy shuffles a bit more, his smile slipping. "Uh... What-?" Tommy started, but then Tubbo tackled him into a hug. Oh. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. He was going to go back into the dark space. No no no no no! He didn't want to! Why did Tubbo hug him?! Tommy began to panic, as he tried to shove Tubbo off.

The others must have noticed Tommy's panic, and tried to get Tubbo off, who looked at them, then back at Tommy, to see that Tommy was terrified. Immediately Tubbo let go. Tommy scurried back a couple of places, putting distance between them, and just stares at them. No way he was letting any of them close to him now. They were just going to get him in trouble. He didn't want to go back to the dark space. Tommy could feel his breathing grow irregular. No no no no no. He didn't want to go back!

Tommy sat down on the ground heavily, the only things he could hear being his own breath, his heartbeat, and what sounded like crashing waves that filled his head. No no no no no. He would not cry. _He_. _Would_. _Not. Cry._ So he didn't. He just sat there, trembling, breathing hard. No crying. Not a single drop. He could feel a hand on his shoulder, and another on his back. 

Someone was telling him to breathe. He was breathing, were they stupid? He was just breathing to fast. Tommy tried to steady out his breathing. He didn't know how long it took, as he sat on the floor of a restaurant, in front of so many people. That didn't help, and his breathing began to spiral again, but the hand on his back started rubbing circles, and Tommy tried to match the pace of his breathing with the pace of the circles. It seemed to work, because, after a few minutes, his breathing was semi-normal. Tommy stumbles to his feet, with the help of someone else.

He blinked, and saw that Wilbur was really close to his face, scanning Tommy to see if he was okay. Tommy jolted back a bit, and Wilbur out both of his hands up, and takes a few steps back. Tommy glances to his side to see Phil was the one who had helped him to his feet. Techno was still standing by the table, worry etched in his face. Tubbo stood at Tommy's other side.

Tommy huffs, and yanks his arm away from Phil. "I'm fine." He mutters, and trudges back over to the table, plopping down in his chair, and picking up his half empty glass of lemonade. He didn't even look back at the others. He didn't want too. They would all just see him as pathetic. As... A child. Tommy hated that feeling. His mother had made him feel like a child, but that had only gotten _him_ in trouble, making _him_ have to spend more time in the dark space. That's why Tommy hated being called a child, or treated as one.

There was a shuffle of feet and chairs, as the others say down quietly. Tubbo fiddled with his hands, before turning to Tommy. "H-Hey Tommy?" He started, Tommy looks over at him, his gaze unreadable. "I-I'm sorry..." Tubbo finished, and Tommy sighs, setting his drink down, and looking at Tubbo.

"You're fine Big T. Don't worry about it." Tommy sits up, and looks around. "So!" Tommy looks at the others. They all still seemed worried, and angry. "What else are we doing today?" Tommy wanted a distraction. There was silence for a moment, before Phil spoke up. He didn't answer Tommy's question though. Instead, he asked one of his own.

"Tommy, you know your father isn't here, right?" He asked, his voice gentle. Tommy stares at him for a moment, before nodding. "So... If you did show a bit of.... _vulnerability..._ " There it was again. Phil sounded disgusted when saying that. Tommy stares down at the table. "-then he wouldn't know." Tommy jerks up, and continues to stare at Phil for a solid minute. The look of determination on Phil's face did not waver. Tommy didn't exactly know what Phil meant, but, then again... _maybe he did...._

Tommy looks back down at the table, and shuffles around a bit, picking his glass back up, and drinking some more of his lemonade. Actually, he drained the last of it. Tommy sets it down, looking at the empty glass sadly. Tommy nods again, silently. This nod was slow and Tommy seemed as though he was... Tired. He had worn himself out with his... _episode_ on the floor, and thinking about all of this seemed to tire him out as well.

He was raised, thinking that vulnerability was bad. That men can't be vulnerable. That's how he was _taught_ for gods sake! But... After the reactions from his friends... Maybe... His dad was wrong? But that would mean that everything he knows is wrong! Tommy didn't want to believe that. 

Phil shook Tommy gently, who nearly jumped out of his chair. He had been zoning out, lost in his thoughts. "Tommy... Can I..." Phil hesitates. After seeing how Tommy reacted to his best friend hugging him, he doubted Tommy would let Phil hug him. Phil sighs in defeat, before looking at the other two adults, who were staring at Tommy, worry written all over their faces. "Yeah, let's go find something fun to do, okay?" Phil asks, and Tommy nods, thankful that Phil hadn't tried to pressure him into doing anything.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The had gone to a water park, and had some fun. Well, Tommy did. The others were too lost in their own thoughts, and concerned about Tommy. But they did try their best to make the experience the best they could for the youngest member of the group. Tommy seemed oblivious to their concern, that, or he tried to ignore it. 

It was about 5pm when they had decided to head back to the car. Phil made an executive decision. As they all sit, wrapped in towels, he pulls out his phone. Techno and Wilbur look at him quizzically. Phil put a finger to his lips, as he dials a number. Tommy and Tubbo were running around playing tag, as Phil's phone began dialing. After a couple of rings, the person on the other end picked up.

"Hello, this is Phil again! So, we were deciding on renting a hotel room to stay the night over here. I was wondering if you would be alright with Tommy spending the night with us?" Phil asked what was assumed to be Tommy's father. After a minute of nodding, Phil grimaced, but smiled through it.

"Okay, yeah. Will do. Thank you... _sir..."_ The spite was evident in his voice, as he hung up on the man. He turns to the other two, and smiles, a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Something the man on the phone had said, had pissed Phil off. The other two straightened, and waited.

"So, Tommy can come with us for tonight. But I swear, when I see that man next, I am going to break his jaw." Phil's smile remained on his face as he says that. He doesn't go further into detail then that, as he calls the boys over. He tells Tommy the news, and Tommy seems.... Happy. Phil starts the car, and they all get in. Phil and Wilbur in the front seat, Techno, Tommy, and Tubbo in the back. Tommy was squished in the middle, but... He enjoyed the warmth....

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Once they reached the hotel, Tommy had to wait for Tubbo to get out, before he could. He stretches his legs, and grins. He hates to admit it, but... Being that close to his friends had made him happy. Maybe... Maybe they were right? Maybe vulnerability wasn't bad? But Tommy shook that thought from his mind. No. His dad was always right.

Tommy walks to the back of the car, and grabs his, Tubbos, and one of Techno's bags. Tubbo scurried over, and Techno paced over.

"You don't have to Tommy!" Tubbo pointed out happily. Techno just gave him a nod of thanks, before grabbing his other bag, and walking in.

"Sure I don't. But I still will!" Tommy smiled at Tubbo, before entering the Hotel, leaving Wilbur to grab his and Phil's stuff. Phil was currently paying for a room, and just received the key card as Tommy entered the lobby. He follows Phil to their room, Tubbo, Techno, and Wilbur following suite. Phil unlocks the door, and Tommy strides in, setting the bags down near the feet of the beds. There were only two beds. He looks at Phil. There were five people here.

Phil doesn't notice his look, and just holds the door open for the other three. They immediately notice the same thing Tommy had, but they also seemed to dawn a look of understanding, which Tommy did not understand. Phil motioned to the beds.

"Techno, Wilbur, you two take that one. Tubbo, Tommy, you two take the other. I'll take the couch." Tommy panics slightly.

"U-Uh, I can take the couch!" He suggests, his voice a pitch higher then usual. Phil looks at him sadly, and Tommy recoils from that look.

"No, I'll take it Tommy." Tommy deflates, and plops down on the end of his shared bed. Tubbo sits next to him, and leans on him slightly. Tommy tenses, but decided that it's okay, since it's not technically a hug. He relaxes a bit, and Tubbo practically beams happiness. Tommy could have sworn the room got brighter.

Phil ordered some food from downstairs to be delivered to then, and decides that they should watch a movie. And they did. The food was delivered about twenty minutes into the movie, and they all dug in. It took about an hour for Tubbo to fall asleep, strewn acrossed the bed they were supposed to share. A quick glance over Tommy's shoulder, confirmed that the other two were asleep as well. Phil also was out like a light. Tommy wondered when that happened.

After a moment, he stands, and turns of the TV. He shuffles over to Tubbos side of the bed, and tucks the brunette in, before turning off the lamp on the bedside table. Shuffling over to his side of the bed, he refused to get under the covers. Not that he wasn't comfortable with Tubbo, just that... Well. The incident in the restaurant earlier, made Tommy doubt Tubbos ability to leave Tommy alone. After a few minutes of staring into the blackness of the room, Tommy settles into a state of half sleep.

That was, until Tubbo threw his arm over Tommy's shoulder, and buried his face in his back. Tommy begins to shake in fear. No no no no no.... Tommy stands up, and scrambles to the bathroom, not exactly being quiet. He closes the door behind him, and locks it, before sinking to the floor. _Damnit!_ His dad was going to be so mad... What would his dad do, what would he do.... Tommy knew what he had to do to get back on his father's good side. He crawls over to the sink, and opens the cupboard doors, beginning to toss everything he can out of it.

It doesn't take long for the small space to be emptied, and Tommy somehow makes himself fit into the tight space, shuffling around, and using the tips of his fingers to drag the cupboard doors closed. He sat there in darkness for a while. His breathing steadying out, as he knew that his father wouldn't be as mad at him, if he punished himself for it. So he stayed like that. He didn't know for how long. He did fall asleep at some point.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Phil could have sworn he heard someone move around, but he refused to open his eyes, and tries to resituate into a better position on the couch. He was nearly asleep again, when he hears clanging in the bathroom. Probably just one of the boys stumbling around sleepily. He brushed it off, and fell back asleep.

Phil woke up first, at six in the morning. The sun had just begun to peek into the Hotel room, through the windows. He stands, and stretches. Turning, he looks at the boys. All fo-three? Phil does a quick count. He was right, there were only three here. Where was Tommy?

Phil began to panic a bit, as he rushes to the bathroom, trying to open it, only to find it locked. He looks around frantically for a key of something. At this point, he had woken up the other three, who moved drowsily over to where Phil was struggling to get in. Techno out a hand on his shoulder.

"What, really gotta pee?" He asks, his tone a bit husky, from just waking up. Phil shakes his head wildly.

"No- I think Tommy is in there, but the door is locked, and I can't get in!" He rushes out, as he continues to try and find a way in. There was small noises from the three behind him, as they snapped awake. Techno grabs Phil, and moves him to the side, before kicking the door as hard as he can. It shudders, but does not burst open, like the man had been thinking. Wilbur took a turn, and then Phil. And then, here comes Tubbo.

Tubbo gets a running start, and hits it like a linebacker. There was a resounding crack, and the door skidded open, Tubbo nearly falling as his momentum kept him going. There were items thrown all acrossed the floor, and it looked like a tornado had been there. The four looked around, but Tubbo was the first to make the connection.

"Oh..." Tubbos voice was so sad, that the other three looked at him. They followed his gaze to the cupboard under the sink. Phil made a quiet noise, as he crouches down and gently opens the door. And, as suspected, Tommy was curled into a half sitting, half laying position in the small, cramped space. But he was most definitely asleep. Phil looks back at the others, who just seemed... Sad. Phil reaches into the confined space, and shakes Tommy's shoulder slightly. The boy hums in recognition, but only shuffles a bit. He did not want to wake up.

"Tommy? Come on Toms. You gotta wake up." Phil says gently, as he shakes Tommy again. Tommy sighs, and opens his eyes groggily, looking out at his four friends. He seems confused for a moment, before it all clicked. He scrambles to try and get up, pushing Phil out of his way in the process. He stands, and straightens his shirt, and tries to act as though nothing had happened.

"Hah, sorry about that guys!" He says light-heartedly. The only response he received was silence. Until something warm enveloped him. It took Tommy a moment to process it was a person. Actually, more then one. Four. All of them? Even Techno? Oh boy... How long would he have to be in the dark space for...? But he was pulled out of his thoughts by Wilbur muttering something into Tommy's ear.

"There is nothing wrong with Vulnerability, Tommy. We will help you realize that...." The others hummed in agreement. 

Tommy just stands there, unsure of what to do. They... Wanted to help? Maybe... Maybe that's not such a bad thing... And maybe... Maybe vulnerability _isn't_ bad...


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Phil tries to slowly work Tommy into being used to vulnerability, Tubbo is more blunt and quick about it. Which might just do quite the opposite of what they are hoping for. Meanwhile, Wilbur and Techno try to make Tommy's times with them as fun as possible, while also trying to get to know him better. They are worried that he was taught more than just vulnerability was bad.
> 
> Tommy, on the other hand, is overwhelmed. He doesn't understand what in the hell is happening, but hey. He wants to spend time with his friends. Is that to much to ask?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, Platonic. I view these guys as more of a family dynamic in this fix. And yes, a continuation was requested- which, low-key, I'm pretty excited to write. 
> 
> I also want to let you guys know that this series will probably take a while to get chapters out, due to the fact that it is the most in depth and descriptive one I have written yet, and I want to keep it that way.
> 
> That set aside, I hope you enjoy!

As the four hug him, Tommy feels as though he is splitting in half. One side of him telling him; _This is against the rules. This is not allowed. Get out. Get OUT. GET OUT. **GET OUT.**_ While the other is much more docile; _This is right, stay here. Embrace the warmth. It will be okay..._ Tommy doesn't know which one to listen to. But... The warmth was overwhelming. So Tommy stopped trying to listen to the voices, and instead started listening to his body. His heart. Not his mind.

Tommy feels the tension leave his body, as they began to let go and take a step back, one by one. The looked semi-apologetic, for they remembered what had happened last time. But Tubbo didn't let Tommy go. Tommy looks down at the brunette, and then back up at the other three. He knew that he must look scared, but... Tommy wasn't sure if he was scared that Tubbo was hugging him, or that Tubbo would stop hugging him.

Staring down at Tubbo, who's face was pressed against Tommy's shirt, he slowly lifts his left arm. The three standing behind seemed slightly confused, as Tommy fought his instincts. After a couple of seconds of hesitating, Tommy rested his left arm around Tubbo. He wasn't sure if this was technically a hug... So he made it into one. As soon as he was partly there, he didn't care what his father thought. 

Flinging both arms around Tubbo, he wrapped the other boy in a bear hug. Tommy could hear the three standing to the side make small noises of surprise. But Tubbo did not let out a quiet noise, he let out a startled gasp, as Tommy _hugged_ him. Tubbo looks up at Tommy, with tears in his eyes. Tommy still had an expression of fear on his face, but there was no going back, as he buries his head into the nook between Tubbos head, and his left shoulder. 

The happiness that filled Tommy was unbelievable, as he clutched onto Tubbo tighter. The warmth that filled his heart made up for whatever punishment awaited him from his father. He felt Tubbo shift. _Oh._ Tubbo probably didn't want Tommy hugging him. Tommy quickly let go, and took a few steps back, shoving his hands into his pockets, and staring at the floor. He refused to look at any of them in the eyes, as he stands there awkwardly.

Wilbur, Techno, and Phil shared a look of pride. It was something. Even if Tommy had looked terrified the entire time- (which pissed all three of them off. A 16 year old kid. Was scared to hug his best friend.) He had still hugged back. When Tubbo wiggled closer to Tommy, and he had let go, they let out light sighs of disappointment. But at least they had gotten somewhere. Tubbo reached out, as though he wanted back in the hug with Tommy, but Phil put a hand on his shoulder, and shook his head at the other boy. Tubbo deflated. 

"Tommy?" Wilbur approached the boy. Tommy looked up at him, to see a sad smile on the mans face, one that actually did reach his eyes. "It's okay to hug someone, okay? If you ever want to hug one of us, just ask. We won't mind." He assured the nervous boy, who hesitated, before giving a brief nod. Phil clasps his hands together.

"Alright children!" Phil hadn't finished his statement, when Tommy flinched, and looked towards the door of the bathroom. Only Techno and Wilbur noticed the flinch, and took note of it. "What do we want to do today?" The man finishes. Tubbo walks over, and stands beside Tommy, wanting to stay close to the fearful boy. Tommy feels warmth beginning to blossom in his chest again.

"Arcade!" Wilbur shouted, and once more, Tommy flinched. He honestly was waiting for the angry yells that he expected to come after he had hugged Tubbo. Wilbur saw the flinch, and quietly apologized. Tommy shrugs, and continues to stare at the ground. 

"Hm. Library." Techno suggests, and the three others just stared at him. The pink haired man shrugged defensively. "What? A man's gotta read!" And seemed to hear his own words, and in turn, flinching himself. He looks towards Tommy, who gives him an odd, calculating look. "Uh, I mean. A man doesn't _have_ to read...." Techno tries to rephrase what he said. Being careful around Tommy was going to be alot more difficult then he thought. 

Tubbo looks up at Tommy, gently pulling on his sleeve. Tommy glances at Tubbo, eyebrows raised. "What do _you_ want to do Tommy?" The brunette asks, and Tommy seems to think for a moment.

He opens his mouth to say something, and then shuts it again. Something flashes in his eyes that the other four can only fathom. What it was was regret. Tommy wanted to explore. But, suggestions weren't polite if other people had things they wanted to do. He shrugs, and stares at the ground again. He doesn't notice the others share a glance, similar to the one they had shared back at the restaurant.

"I don't care. Whatever you guys want to do I guess." Tommy said, as Tubbo reaches for his sleeve again. Tommy expects him to tug on his sleeve again, but the older boy instead grabs Tommy's hand. Immediately, Tommy pulled his hand away, and shifted away from Tubbo, looking at him oddly. Tubbo seems sad that Tommy had edges away. The others decided to overlook that little exchange, and Phil speaks up again.

"Well, Tommy. I," he points to himself for emphasis, "want to do what you want to!" He pointed at Tommy, who looks at him now, with confusion written on his face. Tommy seemed to think for a moment longer, before glancing at the others. They nodded encouragingly, and Tommy huffed. They were making everything difficult! All the rules he is taught to follow, they are all practically forcing him to break them! Tommy didn't really like it. Not at all. He shuffles a bit, and looks Phil in the eyes, scanning for hints of anything to tell Tommy that this was all some stupid joke, and that they have been reporting back to his father. That Tommy was going to be punished severely for all of this.

"Uh. Library. Yeah." He spat out after almost an entire minute of them standing patiently. Phil and Wilbur looked crestfallen, while Techno flashes a quick grin at Tommy. Maybe that was worth it... Making his friend happy would be worth giving up what he wanted to do. He looks at Phil again, and the man sighs, before giving a brief nod. He was not going to pressure Tommy into anything. Wilbur just nudged Techno, and whispers something in his ear. Tubbo, on the other hand....

"But Tommy! That's not what we asked! We asked what you wanted to do!" The energetic boy attempted to clarify. Tommy stares at him for a moment, and then straightens his posture, glaring at the boy now. This was definitely a trap.

"That's what I want to do. I want to go to the library." Tommy's tone was defensive now. Phil steps forward, and gently pulls Tubbo back, whispering something in the boys ear. Tubbo seems mildly upset, and crosses his arms with a huff of annoyance, as Phil speaks up, directed at Tommy.

"Alright then! Which library would you like to go to?" Phil shoots a glare at the two behind him, keeping them silent. Tommy raises an eyebrow, and shrugs.

"I don't know anything around here that well..." Tommy clarified. Phil raises an eyebrow in turn.

"Well then just look it up?" The man suggests. Tommy shuffles, and looks around.

"Okay. Can I borrow one of your guys phones?" Tommy asks, quietly. He didn't want to ask for one. Phones aren't allowed when his father isn't present. Which would be why his is still at home. Tommy was growing more and more uneasy as he keeps breaking the rules. Surely, these four didn't know _all_ the rules, right? So they can't report back _every rule_ he has broken so far? Tommy's fingers twitch.

Tommy notices when Phil hesitates. Tommy calculates the possibilities. Maybe... Maybe they did know all the rules. _Ah hell..._

"N-nevermind, forget I asked. I don't care, whichever is closest." Tommy shrugs, trying to cover up his slight stutters, and feigning careless. Phil sighs, and rubs the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger and thumb. _Oh, I'm annoying him. Whoops._ Tommy shuffles again, and then motions to the door, trying to change the subject.

"Wanna get outta here? It's getting a little tight in here." The boy pointed out. They had somehow forgotten they were in a bathroom, and Wilbur is the first out. Techno follows, along with Phil. Tubbo attempts another grab at Tommy's hand, which he pulls away from once more, as the brunette frowns. Tubbo turns and exits the bathroom, and Tommy follows. As Tubbo exits the bathroom, Phil stares at him, and Tubbo looks at the ground. Tommy arches an eyebrow, before brushing it off.

Wilbur initiates the discussion. "So, do you not have a phone with you, or?" Wilbur seemed honestly curious, but there was something else that glittered in his eye, something Tommy was not able to describe. Tommy, despite having been expecting the question, still ends up glaring at the older man.

"Just forgot it at home." His response was terse. It was an off thing to get angry at, and Techno raises an eyebrow, and shifts a bit. Tommy huffs, before crossing his arms and looking at Phil.

"So? Let's go." 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Tommy sits in the passenger seat, despite not wanting to. Wilbur, Techno, and Tubbo were all crammed into the backseat, as Phil drives. He tries to ignore the looks he is recieving from the people in the back through the rear view mirror. Instead, he stares out the window, and watches trees and houses as they whizz by.

It doesn't take long for Phil to find a library, and park. After a moment of sitting in silence, Tommy is the first to exit the car. The others follow, Phil locking the car as he is the last to step out. It wasn't a very big library, but it definitely would not be called small. Techno seems borderline excited, well. As excited as Techno can be, as he bursts through the doors, and speed-walks to the non-fiction section.

Phil pats Wilbur on the head, and whispers something in his ear, before heading to the front desk, and flashing a smile at Tommy. Wilbur glances at Tommy, and Tommy couldn't distinguish what his friend was thinking, as the man motions Tommy to his side. Tommy walks over to Wilbur, who waves off Tubbo, who was about to follow. Tubbo frowns, and crosses his arms, before heading over to where Phil was speaking with the woman behind the desk.

Wilbur escorts Tommy to where Techno is, his face buried in a book about World War II. At the sound of their approach, the pink haired man sets the book back on the shelf, and glances at Wilbur, who nods. Tommy stands, confused to all hell, as they have a weird, silent discussion. This was all way to weird for him, so he decides to speak up.

"Alright bitches, if all you are gonna do is stare at each other, I'm outta here!" He may have spoken a bit loud for a library, but he still turns on his heel, and walks away from the two. He doesn't expect either of them to follow him, as he crosses the library.

He spots four PCs, and his fingers twitch. He wants to play games so bad, but... Tommy sighs, and turns away from the PCs, and instead heads to the Sci-Fi section, and scans through book labels. Every once in a while, he would find one that looked interesting, and read the description paragraph on the back, before putting the books back in place. He didn't really like reading that much.

He didn't notice when Wilbur and Techno entered the isle that Tommy had come to inhabit for about twenty minutes. He jumps a bit when Techno clears his throat, acting really suspicious, as he quickly sticks his face into a book again. Wilbur smacks Techno on the back of the head, who in turn, glares at the taller man. Wilbur whispers something to Techno, before waving at Tommy with a pleasant smile on his face. Tommy raises his eyebrows, and backs away from the isle, turning down another one.

He runs right into Tubbo, who gasps in surprise, before smiling brightly. "Tommy! I was just looking for you!" And, without a warning, the boy wraps Tommy in a hug. Tommy feels himself tense, as he begins to panic slightly. Wilbur peeks around the corner, having heard Tubbo, and seems to grow angry.

_Here it comes. I knew it was too good to be true. There isn't cabinets here though... Must have to wait to get back to the hotel, hm?_ Tommy was absolutely sure that Wilbur was mad at him, for allowing Tubbo to hug him. And Tommy closes his eyes as the grown man strides forward, Techno quick on his heels. When Tubbos arms are yanked away from him, and nothing else comes, Tommy slowly opens one eye, only to see that no one was near him anymore.

_W-What?_ Tommy opens both eyes, and then begins to panic more. _Oh no, oh no... Did they leave me? Oh god, I fucked up!_ Tommy leans against the wall, and slowly slides down it, into a sitting position. He buries his head between his knees, and wraps his arms protectively over the back of his head. He felt his breathing quicken as his mind grew more and more focused on the fact that they left him.

_They're not coming back- look what you did!_ Tommy can't help the tears that come streaming down his face. He sits, in the back of an isle, in a ball, crying, alone.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The rage that Wilbur felt in his chest wasn't directly focused on Tubbo, not at all. But that didn't change the fact that the boy had not listened to _anything_ Phil had said! Wilbur is dragging Tubbo through the library by his arm, Techno behind them, his face echoing the feeling that was coiling in Wilburs gut. As they reached the open, Wilbur spotted Phil sitting at a table, reading a book about birds. He looks up, mildly surprised to see the three of them, before comprehending their faces, and standing, worry filling his eyes.

"What happened?" The man asked, as the other three drew closer. Upon reaching the table Phil stood next to, Tubbo yanked out of Wilburs grasp and crosses his arms, glaring at the ground. Wilbur practically _snarls_ in anger.

" _Tubbo_ here, decided to go ahead and tackle hug _Tommy,_ with _zero_ warning!" Wilbur informed Phil, and Phil turned his gaze to Techno, who nodded, before landing his gaze on Tubbo finally.

"Tubbo. What have I told you?" Tubbo kicks the carpet, and mutters something. "What was that? Speak up." Phil ordered.

"I said, 'give Tommy time'." Tubbo uncrossed his arms and glares at Phil. "But I don't want to! He's my best friend! If I want to hug him, I'm going to!" Tubbo grows frustrated as Phil shakes his head no.

"That's not how this works Tubbo. He needs time! You have to go slow, and-" Phil is cut off by the librarian tapping him on the shoulder. Phil turns to the woman, and immediately begins to apologize. They had been rather loud. But that wasn't what the woman was tapping him for. She points down the isle that the three others had emerged from.

"Erm, sorry to bother you, but the boy you all came with? He's sort of... Crying? In the back of the isle? I tried to talk to him, but it's like he didn't hear me..." The woman trailed off, concern written on her face. The four immediately tense, and Phil thanks the woman, before nearly sprinting into the isle, his long strides making it easy to get there fast. 

Upon entering the isle, he sees Tommy sitting on the floor, his head between his knees, and arms over his head, in a protective ball. Phil's eyes widen at the sound of Tommy sobbing, and wastes no time getting to his side. The sound of footsteps behind him let him know that the others were following him.

Phil skids to a stop in front of Tommy, and drops to one knee, trying to see Tommy's face without actually physically touching him. The boy was breathing too fast, and his sobs were turning into more hiccuping gasps, and Phil didn't know what to do. He looks up at the other three, who seem just as clueless and worried as Phil himself. With a huff, Phil turns back to Tommy, as the other three kneel beside Phil.

"Hey, Tommy? Can you hear me buddy?" Phil's voice is gentle, and Tommy does not respond, in any way. "Tommy, buddy, can you please try to breathe for me?" Phil wants to reach out on rub circles on the boys back, but he wasn't sure if that would help or make it worse. Wilbur didn't hold back, though, as he places his hand on Tommy's back comfortingly. Tommy visibly flinches, and his hiccups grow quieter. His breathing speeds up, and Phil's eyes widen again. The speed at which the boy was inhaling air was not anywhere near healthy. 

Regret flashes acrossed Wilburs face, as Techno places a hand on his shoulder. Phil struggles to figure out what to do, until suddenly... Tommy fell silent. Phil instantly begins to panic, once silence falls.

"Tommy?!" Tubbo exclaims. Tommy had slumped against the bookshelf, as his breathing began to stabilize. It didn't take long for them to realize that Tommy had passed out.

Phil wraps his arms around the young boy, and carries him bridal style, out of the library. He ignores the odd looks he gets, or the worried wave of the librarian, or the muttering of the three who follow him. He motions to the passenger door, and Techno opens it. Phil gently sets Tommy inside of the car, and fastens his seatbelt, closing the door, and silently heading to the driver's seat. The other three pile into the back, and Phil starts the car silently.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Tommy slowly opens his eyes. His neck felt sore, as if he had held it at an odd angle. He shuffles a bit, and realizes he's in a car. It was too bright outside the window, and Tommy groans, closing his eyes again. His head was pounding. The car slows down, and starts pulling to the side of the road.

"Tommy?" Someone asks, softly. Tommy shifts again, and slowly pries his eyes open again, as the car comes to a complete stop. 

"Hngh... What's up Phil...." Tommy's voice sounded utterly exhausted. He hears things shifting around behind him, and Phil shushing someone. 

"How you feeling, bud?" Phil asks, his voice gentle and patient. Tommy slowly pushes himself into a more comfortable sitting position, before sighing.

"Feeling fine big man. What happened?" He asks, looking at Phil. The man had a look of concern on his face, and was watching Tommy.

"You uh. Passed out?" Wilbur provided from the backseat. Phil glares over his shoulder, before looking back at Tommy, who is still trying to comprehend what is happening.

"Hm... Okay." Was Tommy's response, as he glances at the people in the backseat. The two near the windows looked worried, the one in the middle looked guilty. "What's wrong, Tubbo?" Tommy asks, his mind starting to fight off the weird fuzziness, as he realizes that there is something wrong.

Tubbo clutches his hands together, and mutters an apology. Tommy shifts, and tries to think, before voicing his silent question.

"Why are you sorry?" He asks, and Tubbo looks up, confusion written on his face.

"Because I hugged you?" Tubbo straightens a bit. Tommy blinks. The memories come rolling back from what occured in the library. Tommy laughed, abruptly. The other four jumped in surprise.

"Tubbo, that's not---" he takes a moment to stop laughing. "Tubbo, that's not why I freaked out." Tommy clarified, as he faces forward again. Now, Techno speaks up. 

"So... Why did you freak out, if you don't mind me asking?" The pink haired man watches Tommy. Tommy looks in the rearview mirror, before looking at Phil, then out the windshield.

"Because I thought you guys left me." His words are short and monotone, much similar to how Techno normally speaks. Phil's mouth forms that of an 'o' as he connects the dots.

"Tommy, we won't ever leave you, okay? You don't have to worry about that!" Phil hurried to correct the boys line of thinking. Tommy smiles a little at Phil.

Just then, Phil's phone rang. With a huff, the man reaches to hang up, before seeing who was calling. Letting out a string of course words, he lifts the phone to his ear after answering it.

"Hello sir! Sorry, I lost track of time, do you need something?" Phil asks. The three in the back shift forward to hear what the response was. Tommy doesn't need to. The man was very, _very_ loud.

" _Yeah! I need my damn son!_ "

**Author's Note:**

> PLATONIC. DO NOT EVEN GO, OH THEY SHARED A BED- NO. FRIENDS. NOT ANYTHING ELSE. DONT BE WEIRD. THEY ARE BOTH MINORS.  
> Now that that's done, hope you enjoyed- I honestly did not mean to make this one so long-  
> As stated at the start, of you want another part, let me know, and I'll see what I can do!


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